Woody Allen Quotes

“Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”

― Woody Allen, Getting Even

topic:death

“It is impossible to experience one’s own death objectively and still carry a tune.”

― Woody Allen, Getting Even

topic:death experience

“UFOs are back in the news, and it is high time we took a serious look at this phenomenon. (Actually, the time is ten past eight, so not only are we a few minutes late but I'm hungry).”

― Woody Allen, Side Effects

topic:time

“Can we actually know the universe? My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.”

― Woody Allen, Getting Even

topic:knowledge way universe

“That is, what can we be sure we know, or sure that we know we knew it, if indeed it is at all knowable. Or have we simply forgotten it and are too embarrassed to say anything?”

― Woody Allen, Getting Even

topic:knowledge

“God is silent . . . now if we can only get Man to shut up.”

― Woody Allen, Side Effects

topic:God man silence

“Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.”

― Woody Allen, Getting Even

topic:God

“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

― Woody Allen, Side Effects

topic:wisdom despair

“Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.”

― Woody Allen, Side Effects

topic:reality pleasure food

“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, Cloquet thought, while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”

― Woody Allen, Side Effects

topic:good

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