George Carlin Quotes

“Here's all you need to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

topic:women men stupidity

“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

topic:self others

“The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

topic:self talking

“Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

topic:stupidity ignorance

“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

topic:work appearance

“They say that rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. They don't mention anything about cursing a lack of candles.”

― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

topic:darkness light

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked!”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

topic:madness music

“If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.”

― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

topic:peace killing cruelty

“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

topic:intelligence

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